This Is That Bluehost Commercial

Every video.  Every.  Single.  Video.  I understand how AdBlocker works, and I understand this would be a moot issue if I’d stop being lazy and just install the thing and be done with it.  I do.  I’m not even sure why at this point I haven’t if only for a case of short-term (or maybe long-term, I honestly don’t know) memory loss.  But because of my laziness, every YouTube video I fire up has this commercial before it: the girl with the Pixar quivering lips reaching slowly across the table, the man grinning as he watches her while they play out the facsimile of a first date and we discover she’s not reaching for him but her computer mouse in order to make a purchase with him on the other side of this phone call helping her select the proper pair of sunglasses.  I don’t make it too far in, hitting SKIP as soon as it’s available, so perhaps there’s a redeeming quality at the end I’m unaware of.  Doubtful, but possible.

I’ve had to use Bluehost for a number of years, and never found them terribly helpful.  Their systems go down with a frightening amount of frequency, and communication is often limited to waiting in a queue for online chat only to have whomever you’re talking with tell you “their systems are down”.  Though Bluehost is far from the worst offender to be sure, I don’t need to see them represented every time I want to watch a video of dogs doing something funny by someone wearing a sly-knowing smile when the reality of that grin is far more mediocre.

Honestly, I’m just tired of seeing them.


This Is My Neighbor’s Dog

And he/she is a jerk.

The breed is Boxer with something else.  At least I think it’s Boxer.  I’m bad with dog breeds and tend to lump them together into more easily definable categories.  My first encounter with the dog was fine, comical even, as I was taking my dog out to the bathroom and the neighbor’s dog seemed a little bashful at first warming quickly toward playful.  My dog Jenkins is typically aloof, happier to spend his time at the dog park hanging out with humans over his kind, and as such, sniffed at Neighbor Dog for a few seconds before moseying off to do his thing.  Nothing more.  End of encounter.

Neighbor Dog lives on the first floor with one of the bedroom windows facing the grassy area most of the dogs gather to relieve themselves.  Every time I take Jenkins past that window, it’s like a lion freaking out having seen a piece of meat.  Neighbor Dog’s sudden need to maul feels so heavy there are times I’m concerned a simple sheet of glass will do nothing to sake the ire.  I’m not sure what prompted the change – did Jenkins ignoring them set off some already faulting wire? – but the result is less-than-necessary.  I often put myself between the two while Jenkins again does his thing, still unconcerned, me staring into the agitated black eyes of the beast while it salivates.  I saw a video of a Norse man confronting a charging moose, and though not entirely similar, I like to think my braveness level in this is creeping even.

I don’t know what would happen should the two meet again.  It’s strange to me how nice the neighbors seem too.  They have two boys.  Perhaps Neighbor Dog is concerned the other dogs are looking to mug them, I don’t know.  I tend to wrongly approach every dog as though they love me and want only my attention and affection.  But not Neighbor Dog.

Neighbor Dog is a jerk.

Food, Uncategorized

This Is Buffalo Wild Wings’ Blazin Sauce

I don’t know.  I’m not convinced.  The website says to keep away from your eyes, pets and children.  I’d also argue the same holds true for 90% of their sauces, as that just seems like common sense to me.  Maybe I’m overthinking it.  Anyhow, the sauce itself wasn’t that fancy.  There’s heat to it to be sure, though it wasn’t a complex heat used to enhance the overall flavor but rather a micro-furnace ignited in the core of your mouth and left to smolder a handful of minutes.  Some guy in my office started to sweat after he ate it, so do with that what you will.

Overall: boring.  Eat Spicy Garlic instead.


This Is Kung Fury

I’m going to sell Kung Fury to you in just a few lines.

An 80s love song of a movie featuring kung fu, evil arcade machines, time travel, dinosaurs, Thor, Valkyries, Hackerman, Hitler, and a triceratops cop named Triceracops.  Seriously, the trailer was one of the best and most ridiculous things I’d seen in forever, and the film tops it by a mile.

For a while I thought I was watching a live action Streets of Rage.  That’s possibly the highest praise I can give anything.

Just go.  Watch it.  It’s free.  Have a blast.  Then watch it again.